Honestly, I don't know what to say. I think it's very honest, and I don't think there's any betetr approach than bare honesty. But my own experiences are very different. I have quite a few self-verifiable experiences, and I do fall back on them in times of doubt or soul-searching. And out of those many, there are a couple that were simply more real than anything else I've ever experienced, that the tangibility of them has never left me. To some extent I *can't* doubt the reality of our personal God, at least not without trying to forget those experiences first. So in a sense those things have sustained my Christian faith, but after my first few years as a Christian, they were no longer fueling it. They certainly aren't the norm of my Christian experience, just a few of the most vivid moments.I think what you said about encountering him around the table and in your community are actually the fuel for our Christian lives. They're certainly the most regular experiences I've had as a Christian for 15 years now, and though some of the others might be more vivid, I think those encounters in community are the more meaningful the ones that deepen my personal faith and understanding of who God is and how he works, and of how much more work he has to do in me. But it certainly *is* true that, from time-to-time, even often when I give myself the occasion, I sense a certain part of me, somewhere in my inner life, the reality of God's constant presence and communication. Again, not so vivid and clear as some earlier moments, but ever-present and noticeable nonetheless. And when I give in to that presence and that communication; not so much dissecting it and examining it, but trusting him and acting on it: I see God work. He does things sometimes simple and sometimes profound, in my life and in others, but I see God work. It's often as simple as just praying to him and trusting he's leading me and ignoring the bit of awkwardness to act on it and as difficult as just stopping being so dumb and self-centered and doubtful or analytical.I don't know if this is a theological fact or if it's even true for most Christians. So I'm really speaking from experience here: I think (believe?) that God is a noticeable presence in all people in whom he dwells (meaning believers or born again or filled with the Holy Spirit or any number of ways of talking about God's personal transformation of individuals). I'm talking about that self-verifiable thing that I think you guys are talking about. If you're not sure you're noticing it, are you stopping and taking the time to listen? Are you putting yourself in a place of peace and contemplation, the be still and know that I am God thing? I'm not asking this question because I'm saying you're not (I have no idea), and I don't want to be an arrogant jerk by making an accusation. I'm just saying those are the situations when, if I'm smart enough to do it, I can stop only seeing myself and instead also see God, at work, inside me. Have you ever fasted much? I don't mean just a lent sort of fast where you exercise moderate self-control, but I mean the real struggle: a few days or a few weeks of nothing, no one, just time alone to relax, try to forget the hunger pains and your physical self, and ask God to make himself known to you. I'm not saying he'll give you a vivid special revelation of himself (though he might), but that I think those times give him more opportunity to help you forget yourself and see him, even where he already is. The theological fact that I *know* is true is this: to those who have faith in God, in Jesus, he sends his Holy Spirit to live in you and to transform you, to work on you from the inside out, to guide you, and seal his relationship with you. What I'm not 100% sure of, but which I absolutely believe, is that you really should be able to recognize God inside you doing those things, to sense him personally. So the only thing I can think of (being a man, thus being bent on giving suggestions for fixing problems) is that you need to find a way past all the other loud voices in order to hear God's still small voice which is already speaking inside you. I'm suggesting prolonged fasting, maybe a series of shorter ones to build up to it, but a time of nothing and no one but God and his word, so he can teach you to more easily recognize him and his constant presence.